WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?!

i was thinking to myself, wondering WHY EXACTLY dustin and amanda seem to be so damn concerned about me right now. i've gotten this damn far in life SAFELY (well.. I'M ALIVE AND AWARE ENOUGH TO KNOW WHEN PEOPLE- SUCH AS YOURSELVES ARE JUST USING ME) without the help of bigotry and ignorance- so in other words, without THEIR help. wtf is their goal other than to ruin what someone has going for them JUST to appear they actually have a fucking effect on things that DON'T CONCERN THEM? mind your fuckin business. you both think that you're smarter than i am and i'm stupid. nonono.. i HAVE left this fucking state (WISCONSIN DOESN'T COUNT EITHER) and i AM OPEN MINDED.. WHICH MAKES ME MORE INTELLIGENT THAN YOU BOTH. just mind your own fucking business. i was grumbling to myself this evening and i honestly stopped and said to myself, "I'LL JUST LET THEM. THERE'S NOTHING EITHER OF THEM CAN DO TO STOP ME." you guys should worry about yourselves because i KNOW that bigots have more problems than the normal person. i was thinking what they might make up as an excuse for their worries about me.. they might claim they're concerned that i'll have no support when i go to new york.. WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DIFFERENCE FROM NOW AND IN NEW YORK OR BOSTON? IT'S NOT LIKE MY FAMILY (EXCEPT JOE.. BUT I'M POSITIVE HE'D STILL MAKE AT LEAST THE SAME EFFORT AS HE DOES NOW WHEN I'M LIVING IN BOSTON OR NEW YORK) GIVES A DAMN ABOUT ME. I'VE BEEN RUSHED TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM (ONCE FOR MY BLOCKED BOWEL AND I FORGET WHY THE OTHER TIME) AND I ATTEMPTED TO CALL AMANDA AND HER MOM (HAVING TO LEAVE VOICEMAILS BOTH TIMES) TO ABSOLUTELY NO REPLY. in fact- i'm pretty sure the last time i was in the emergency room, they gave me some caplyta because of the complaints i told their psychologist about my family keeping me in this state while NOT offering me any care or support- so THERE'S REALLY NO REASON WHY I SHOULD REMAIN IN THIS STATE. great!.. my family is the cause of me requiring anti-depressants! IF THAT ISN'T "CARE".. THEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS! no support is better than the bullshit i'm forced to deal with now. at least in boston or new york- i'd be able to get care and support from strangers (which in my experience is honestly A LOT more HELPFUL). then the saying, "MISERY LOVES COMPANY." comes to mind and it all makes sense.. they're miserable and they only want company/someone else who they supposedly "care" about while completely ignoring the best interests and well-being of their relative who they supposedly "care" about. what do you dicks want anyway? i'm never going to a concert with either of you again, you don't pay attention to me other than gossiping about me (consider me a fly on the wall). i made my will and everything is going to jay if something happens to me now.. so i'm not sure what the hell you guys want exactly. you don't care about me unless there's something in it for you. shoo. shoo. i'm done with you dicks.